Chronically Saved
Chronically Saved
My Faith with Chronic Illness
My faith is so vital to my survival with chronic illness. I’ve read about ways people with chronic illness stay positive, whole, and happy. The majority of these people talk about their support system keeping them sane. While I never want to underestimate the importance of my own support system of family and friends (my gratefulness for this secret circle is immeasurable) it is not, and never could be, the only thing that keeps me afloat. I need hope that my life isn’t just one long painful flare after another: thope that there is something more than just this. I need something more than doctors to believe in. I take comfort in knowing this life sentence, that is having a chronic illness, isn’t for nothing.
I’m incredibly grateful to have grown up in a loving home. Due to my parents dedication in loving and teaching me, I was saved when I was five and felt called to ministry at seven. And having gone through what I have, I feel like I’ve really been able to make my faith my own. Believing in The God who is not limited by time or space, and is immeasurably bigger and greater than my small human brain can fathom. All of this gives me hope, and my faith makes my life suck better. :) My faith also gives me attainable goals, and helps me maintain a healthy mindset. This can look like a get together with my 9th grade girls, praying for others, and helping my dad (who is a Missions pastor) with small projects. On a daily level, this looks like making time to do Bible art journaling, praying, meditating on Godly thoughts and ideas while stretching, and being mindful throughout the day.
Before I was diagnosed, I was getting involved with Missions at my church and I was able to go to Africa and Canada. These trips were amazing but traveling while having a chronic illness took its toll. I dream of going back to Africa again one day. But like I said, traveling with a chronic illness is one of the most difficult things I’ve ever done. So my being called to ministry looks a bit different. I’ve had to adjust this mission-minded life to my health needs. One of the ways this looks different is I’ve released myself of the pressure of volunteering. Maybe it’s a pressure I put on myself or just my own observation of the need I see. But saying no to things my body can’t handle helps keep me healthy.
If I wake up one Sunday and my pain is debilitating, I choose to let myself rest at home and skip church that Sunday; I also do this with Wednesday night services as well. Before I had a handle on my pain, I would go to church horribly sick. I would push through my pain in a very unhealthy way. Doing this would cause more pain and even a flare episode that left me even sicker. So my skipping a church service for health reasons is a must. I try to volunteer for smaller projects if I’m able. There was a time when I would teach a four and five year old Sunday school class. I was able to do that because the class was small, flexible, and I didn’t have to stay in one place for long. Sitting for long periods of time causes major muscle cramps. I was also able to teach a 9th grade girls class for two years. That was such a blessing to me and I loved it! Unfortunately, I did have to step down when my health flared up again. But for the time I had with those girls, I’m forever grateful and I still keep in touch with them! Knowing when to step down and say no to church activities has been difficult. And I definitely feel the pressure more often than I would like to admit. I so badly want to go on every mission trip and say yes to every volunteer opportunity! But my health is more important than teaching a class or going on a trip. If I don’t take care of the only body I have, I won’t be able to fully serve God with my best. I must treat my body like the temple God says it is. For me, this means saying “no” to some things, so I can say “yes” to Gods best with a healthy body!
