Chronically Busy
Chronically Busy
The Glorification of Being Busy
I never recognized the glorification of being busy until I was forced to slow down. My “busy” before being diagnosed with chronic illness, I would describe as being balanced. I had school and ballet everyday, church on Sundays and Wednesdays, and I was actively pursuing photography as a career. During high school, dancing was replaced with a part-time to full-time retail job. I was active enough to not be bored, but careful enough to not overwhelm myself by over-committing. Today, in society’s skeptical eye, my life would be considered boring; and to be honest, that used to really bother me. I wanted my days to be full of adventure, work, travel, and lots of side hustles. But while dealing with my illness, I’ve learned that our culture is teaching us to do as much as you can, as hard as you can, as fast as you can. People seem to look down on those who move at a slower pace.
In the early spring of this year, I went to the ballet to watch my sister perform. My family and I were in the lobby waiting to congratulate her on her performance. While we waited, another family that we know started chatting with us. After the polite talk about how everyone was doing and about the weather, the mother began talking about her daughter’s busy schedule. “Tomorrow we drive to her track meet. She loves going from one thing to another; she just wants to do it all!”
While I don’t remember many of the specifics of the conversation, I do remember feeling more than impressed that this kid appeared to be able to maintain her sanity! Ballet, gymnastics, track, church, school, this kid did everything; I’m pretty sure there were piano lessons in there somewhere. This mom was so proud of her daughter and rightly so! After about 15 minutes of this mom sharing the exhaustion and excitement of her daughter’s schedule, we said quick goodbyes as they hurried off to yet another scheduled activity.
I know some people thrive off being busy. My best friend is one of those people. She seems to work really well under a time crunch. I’m not saying people should not be busy; life is busy and things happen. I just think it should be socially acceptable to not always have to be busy!
I feel the need to share a truth about myself before I continue: if you try to impress me with your own busy schedule, it simply won’t work. Partly because I still deal with jealousy over other people’s good health that allows them to function in society on a regular basis. And partly because I (unlike what society deems as “living a full life”) have found value in the slow pace that my mind, spirit, and body crave. A few weeks ago, I was catching up with a friend who told me about her busy schedule. When my friend finished talking about her busy schedule, I felt the need to embellish my life. Somehow my schedule didn’t sound as fun and exciting in comparison. There was a lull in the conversation and I quickly started listing art projects I wanted to do in the future as if somehow that would make me sound more socially active. I felt the need to justify my slow pace and I’m realizing that there is absolutely nothing wrong with my slow pace!
Chronic illness has forced me to slow down, and sometimes come to a complete stop. I remember when I was first homebound in the beginning of my chronic illness battle, and feeling like I was wasting my life by not doing anything. But now, looking back, I was still very active! I worked on my writing and art, as well as spending time with my family that would have never happened other wise. I kept my mind busy with books, creating my website, and taking care of my body. I also did sleep lot; I was sick and my body needed uninterrupted rest.
I still think about that family rushing from one activity to the next and I can’t help but wonder what they must be sacrificing to maintain their busy schedule. When did they have family time? Do they ever get to sleep in for an extra hour? Do they even eat? I remember my mom saying, with genuine concern after listening to that families schedule, “I wonder how her daughter’s mental health is.” As humans, we can only go and go for so long before crashing from exhaustion.
I think we view being busy as being happy and living a full life. You can fill your life with as many activities as possible and still not enjoy it. Being busy does not equal happiness, nor does it equal a full life. Being busy means sacrificing. So why do I glorify this idealized idea of being busy? Maintaining a busy schedule, to me, sounds miserable.
My life right now goes against everything that society tells me my life should be. I am always working on keeping my focus on the Lord. But, for me to maintain my health both physically and mentally, my focus must be on taking care of myself as well. That’s not to say that I’m never busy. I do have rare times in my life when I sacrifice important things to stay on top of a busy schedule. What I’m trying to say is that, while there is nothing wrong with being busy, let's stop the glorification and bragging rights we give people for having a busy life. Business does not equal a full or happy life for everyone. I don’t know about you, but I become more happy and content with every slow-paced day that comes.
